And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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