Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
