Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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