Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
