Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
