Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
