Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
