She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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