Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
