it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
