508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
