I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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