There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
