your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
