Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I am one with the molecules
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
