Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
