her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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