She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
