i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i need some magic done to my vagina
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
