I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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