Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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