I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
