nut hugger
I just threw up on my dentist
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
