Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
