im drinking this country out of the recession.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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