we should wear snuggies to the strip club
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize