I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
