question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize