belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize