so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
