Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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