Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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