I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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