hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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