i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
