this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
