Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
