i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
