u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
