You don't have asthma, your pregnant
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
