Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
