I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
