I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
