Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
