Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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