I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
