they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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