Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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