Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
