I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
