there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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