some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
