I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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