That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
