just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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